Breaking News: Squirrel Infestations In Churches
« on: February 14, 2018, 04:50:08 PM »
The local Presbyterian church called a meeting to decide what to do about the squirrels infesting their church.
After much prayer and consideration, they concluded the squirrels were predestined to be there and they shouldn't interfere with God's divine will.
At the local Baptist church, the squirrels had taken an interest in the baptismal font.
The church deacons met and decided to put a water slide on the font, and let the squirrels drown themselves.
The squirrels liked the slide and, since they knew instinctively how to swim, twice as many squirrels showed up the following week.
The Methodist church decided that they were not in a position to harm any of God's creatures - So, they humanely trapped their squirrels, setting them free near the Baptist Church.
Two weeks later, the squirrels came back, after the Baptists took down the water slide.
But the Catholic Church, however, came up with a very creative strategy.
They baptized all the squirrels, and consecrated them as members of the church - Now they only see them on Christmas and Easter.
Not much was heard from the Jewish synagogue - they trapped the first squirrel and circumcised him - and haven't seen a squirrel since.